"Assume Positive Intent"

Thanks to a suggestion from my long-time client and friend Steve Aronson, I’ve been reading Robert Glazer’s weekly “Friday Forward” columns for the better part of the past year. Robert’s columns always provide unique insights into some of the common challenges that we all face in our lives. They also provide an important perspective that can help to illuminate our own understanding of those challenges and how to constructively deal with them.

In a recent column entitled “Positive intent” (posted March 18th), Robert takes on one of key reasons for the general level of stress that pervades our lives today, specifically, the pervasive assumption of negative intent when another person’s speech, beliefs, or actions don’t align with ours. Sadly, we see the “negative intent” paradigm play out nearly every day in politics, the media, and even in seemingly innocuous conversations between colleagues and friends.

Constantly assuming negative intent by reflexively questioning the intentions or actions of others, he writes, “breeds cynicism and fear at a time we need less of both.”

So what’s the solution? Assume positive intent, that is, put on hold the instinct to preemptively judge the other person for what they’ve said or how they’ve said it. Instead, take the moment as an opportunity to better understand the basis of the other person’s ideas and beliefs by asking questions, and then sharing the basis for your point of view in an honest but respectful dialogue.

In the end, you may still not come to an agreement about your differences. But the dialogue is more likely to give you greater insight into the facts and beliefs informing the other person’s point of view, while also giving you an opportunity to examine your own beliefs through a different lens.

You can access Robert’s “Positive intent” column on his Friday Forward page at https://www.robertglazer.com/friday-forward/positive-intent-julian-edelman/.